By Richard J. Foster
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Additional resources for Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home
Nagging questions assail us with a force they never had before. ” Through all of this, paradoxically, God is purifying our faith by threatening to destroy it. We are led to a profound and holy distrust of all superficial drives and human strivings. We know more deeply than ever before our capacity for infinite self-deception. Slowly we are being taken off of vain securities and false allegiances. Our trust in all exterior and interior results is being shattered so that we can learn faith in God alone.
16 Gracious Jesus, it is easier for me to approach you with my mind than with my tears. I do not know how to pray from the emotive center of my life or even how to get in touch with that part of me. Still, I come to you just as I am. I am sorry for my many rejections of your overtures of love. Please forgive all my offenses against your law. I repent of my callous and insensitive ways. Break my stony heart with the things that break your heart. Jesus, you went through your greatest trial in unashamed agony and wept tears of deep, deep sorrow.
I never before had felt so pungent 37 38 / RICHARD J. FOSTER and deep a sense of the odious nature of sin as at this time. ”3 Recently I experienced a special grace of the soft rain of tears. I had been considering my sin and the sin of God’s people. I had also been meditating on the Gospel teaching (and the ancient teaching of the Church) on “compunction”—heart sorrow. As I did this, God graciously helped me enter into a holy mourning in my heart on behalf of the Church and a deep tear-filled thanksgiving at God’s patience, love, and mercy toward us.